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GÄSTBOK

 

 

I died today - you got tired of me, I drew an unlucky number.
I am in a black plastic bag in a landfill now. Some other puppy will get my barely used leash. My collar was dirty and too small, but you did it before you sent me to the Rainbow Bridge. I would still have been at home if I had not chewed your shoe? I did not know what it was, but it was the leather smells good! I did not know .. I just wanted to play and it is scratched into my mouth. You forgot to buy the puppy toys. Would I still be at home if I had been housebroken? You rubbed my nose in my failures, it was just that I was ashamed, O was confused I did not understand what I am going wrong. Why did you not books or asking a teacher of obedience that could have taught you how you would teach me to go to the door. Would I still be at home if I had not brought fleas into the house? Without flea medicine, I could not get them off me. You left me in the yard for several days, that's how I got them. Would I still be at home if I had not barked? I just wanted to say,
"I'm scared, I'm alone, I'm here, I'm here, I wanted to be your best friend." Would I still be at home if I had made you happy? You hit me, why did you learn not to make me obedient? Would I still be at home if you had taken the time to take care of me and brought me up? You have not bothered me since the first week or so, but I spent all my time waiting for you to love me. I died today. I was your puppy, I loved you with all my heart with all my little body

 

 

HOW COULD YOU?

                   

       by Jim Willis

 

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh.

You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows,

I became your best friend. Whenever I was bad you´d shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?".-

- but then you´d relent, and roll me over for a bellyrub.

 

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that

together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams,

and I belived that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides,

stops for icecream, I only got the cone, because "ice cream is bad for dogs", (you said). And I took long naps

in the sun waiting for you, to get home, at the end of the day.

 

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate.

I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about

decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

 

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and

oboyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your

exitment. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and

you worned that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate.

Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love".

 

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs,

poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them

and theirs touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life,

if need be.

 

I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the

sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you

produce a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you answered

"yes", and changed the subject. I had being "your dog" to "just a dog", and you resented every expenditure

on my behalf.

 

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that

does not allow pets. You´ve made the right decision for your "family", but there was a time when I was your

only family.

 

I was exited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter.

 

It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "you will find a good

home for her". They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged

dog, even one with "papers". You had to pry your son´s fingers loose from my collar as he screamed

"No, Daddy, please don´t let them take my dog"! And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him

about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye

pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline

to meet, and now I have one too.

 

After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about you upcoming move, months ago and made no

attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

 

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost

my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that

you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who care,

anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies.

oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

 

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her, to a

separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told not to worry.

My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sens of relief. The prisoner of love

had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs

heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

 

She gently placed a tourniquet around my forelegs as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way

I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the

sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured,

"How could you?".

 

Perhaps because she understod my dogspeak, she said "I´m so sorry". She hugged me, and hurriedly explained.

It was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn´t be ignored or abused or abandone, or have to

fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy - I

try to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?", was not directed at her, It was you,

My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.

 

May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty